Working full time while depressed can be a real challenge. It’s even more difficult when you’re stuck in a corporate office. That’s where I’m at right now. I’ve always imagined myself being self-employed but just never knew what to do. Because of that I’ve been stuck working in corporate hell until I figure something out. Corporate life already sucks for some of us but when you’re depressed AND have dreams of getting out of the 9-5 life it can be crushing.
Sure, a full-time job isn’t all bad. Steady income, plenty of people to talk to, growing opportunities, blah blah blah. The problem is that while you’re guided to think you’re doing it for yourself you’re really doing it for someone else. Yeah, you’re busting your ass so someone else can grow THEIR company, not yours. Not all of us are okay with that, and it is certainly okay if you are, but for those of us who let our own minds defeat us all day the office life is like living in mud.
I live for Saturdays. All week I’m just dying to get there. I don’t get excited about much else. (That hurt just to type out.) I’m in school for what I used to think would be a great career but really, unless I find a way to do it independently, I’m just training for another corporate job. A life of servitude. I dwell on what I could be doing. Maybe I could use my degree to find a way to be self-employed. Maybe I can find other means. The problem is that I’m in a rush to find whatever that thing is so I never stop to really think about what I would enjoy doing. If I force myself into something I could still be unhappy.
I’ve been trying to make myself relax and just think about ideas and work slowly on improving myself instead of rushing into the first thing I think of. I’m trying to get myself to come to terms with the fact that it will take some time before I reached my ultimate goals. With that being said I’m actually a little calmer and I’m starting to look at all of my options more realistically. I have been able to narrow things down and see what are plausible opportunities. I’m also finding out what my true passions are. That feels like progress.
If you’re feeling stuck right now and want something new, I know this sounds counter-intuitive but slow down and just let yourself think about where you’re at and where you want to be. The rat race of normal life can be overwhelming for people like us and you’re probably dying to get out. You can, you just have to take little steps. If you see little bits of progress let that be your motivation to keep going. A strong word of caution: do NOT get stuck in the habit of wishing for overnight change. That puts the pressure of the entire plan on you and you will get overwhelmed and quit. Just take little steps. Even if you only work toward your goal for 1 minute a day. You’ll see little bits of progress and not only will you feel good about the work you’ve done, you’ll also feel more hopeful about your future.