Today is Saturday, my favorite day of the week. Why? Because I get to do nothing all day if I choose. I usually wake up when I want, relax for a bit with some coffee and about an hour or two of video games, then go out for some groceries and then to the gym. That’s usually about it.
When coming home from my grocery run today I noticed the parking lot in my complex was emptier than usual, even for a Saturday. I thought, “Well, it IS Memorial Day weekend so people are probably going out of town for…I don’t know, stuff.” Then it dawned on me- what DO people do on Saturdays? Am I the only one that uses my days off to sit around and avoid leaving the house? Holy crap, am I turning into THAT guy?
I used to do stuff. I used to have things to do on Saturday and now I use it as an excuse to specifically do nothing. I especially avoid socializing unless it’s with someone from out of town who I really want to see. At this point I’ve realized what my anxiety has turned into. I’ve always been somewhat of a hermit but I still used to go out and enjoy myself. Now the thought of leaving the house makes me nervous. The thought of going out in public makes me nervous. Even going out to see family and friends makes me uncomfortable.
My anxiety has grown into a monster that steals joy from my life. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying your days off indoors with a good game but spending every Saturday by yourself while watching everyone else go out and have fun makes you feel kind of weird.
This makes me think maybe I am letting my anxiety control me too much. It might be time for me to take back control before I become even more reclusive and socially awkward. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to prefer staying in with a game every now and then but I think getting used to going out and enjoying time with other people will do me a lot of good.
If you are also falling into this same rut, try to take little steps out of your comfort zone to see if that helps. That’s what I intend to do and I’m sure I’ll be back on here to give an update on the progress.